THE ARTISTS AILMENT

HUSTLE, GRIND, TEAM NO SLEEP, NO DAYS OFF. These are just a few of the “mantras” echoed the infinite hallways of today’s online society. I’m sure in the fast-paced, cut-throat corporate world these words ring true, however, the more I think about the culture these attitudes foster, is this really a sustainable or even a healthy outlook to have on your work?

One of the most common road blocks faced by artists the world over for eons is the dreaded yet inevitable, Creative Block. For anyone that has experienced this phenomenon calling it a road block is an insult, a slap in the face. It diminishes the severity of this very real ailment. Let’s describe it how it really feels. Like a 12 foot high, 5 foot thick solid concrete wall, reinforced by raw iron girders and this is just the outer defenses of the impenetrable fortress holding your creativity hostage!

I have come face to face with the gargantuan force more times than I care to count, each time I have tried “husting”, I’ve tried “grinding”, I have stood at the base of this behemoth banging my head against it, over and over, trying to break through and redeem that lost spark of inspiration. One thing I’ll say about these methods for me personally, they definitely helped get me on Team No Sleep. 9 times out of 10 I was left feeling more depressed and defeated than when I sat down to put pencil to paper. After all, a day not hustling is a day wasted right?

We are barraged and berated by these “mantra’s” (really more like slogans and catch phrases) day in and day out, until they are so deeply ingrained in our psyche that we are just paralyzed by our guilt. Or worst yet, guilt ourselves into putting out sub-par work in order to prove we’re grinding.

For me, after many anxiety ridden days and sleepless nights of trying to push through the creative block, it almost always results the same way, with me retreating licking my wounds, tail between my legs, crawling back into my burrow of depression and despair.

Once resigned to my fate of never being able to draw again (or so it feels at the time) my next phase in this process is distraction or active procrastination as I like to think of it. Diving into a new video game with unwavering persistence, movie marathons, devouring novels one after another, these are usually my drugs of choice to numb the guilt of not being able to create. A gnawing sense of guilt follows me through all of them though, that inner voice berating me for giving in, for taking some time to enjoy these distractions rather than sitting at my desk, staring at a blank page n wallowing in self-pity. Now I find myself asking, why do I feel guilty? These so called distractions, what if they are a remedy? A cure?